Many politicians promise you the world and delivery absolutely nothing.  In this case, I am instead promising absolutely nothing and delivering absolutely nothing.

This product doesn’t really exist.  If you buy it, you will receive nothing in return other than my thanks.

“Absolutely nothing” is for you if you think “Yep, I would like Ian to succeed, but I really don’t want any of his merchandise.”

For the avoidance of doubt, this is a non-existent product that you can buy if you want to make a donation but for some reason want the joy of using my shop functionality.